Am I Dreaming? 
It was a beautiful spring morning on Saturday April 13, 2003. Stepping into the sunshine on the patio, I lovingly admired the beautiful and promising bedding plants ready for the flower garden. Appreciating each plant, the layout of this year’s flowers began unfolding in my imagination. Little did I know at that moment, the plantings would never occur and life was to be turned upside down. A car accident was about to occur, not far from home.
After writing this first paragraph I have to pause to regain my center of peace. It’s an uneasy feeling looking those “pre-moments”, just before the accident, so squarely in the eye. Recalling the contentment and joy of that morning and things never to be done again, or at least not for many years to come, still elicits a profound feeling of loss.
As a result of the accident and the injury sustained I was unable to work and in quick order, lost everything, gaining a life of unrelenting pain. The physical agony continued unabated for nearly two years. The grief of losing that life style lasted a whole lot longer. The present was born out of that anguish. Today is bright, hopeful, filled with love and healing for me and others.
I waited years for a financial settlement from the accident. This money was to recreate and rebuild my life after its devastation. I was free to move anywhere on the planet and this provided a great deal of pleasure-full dreaming. I dreamed myself on the Fiji islands, Hawaii, Taos, Oregon, Berkeley Springs and Asheville. Dreams of building and living in a yurt and having a healing retreat center in nature where people would come for a day or a week to immerse in nature and the healing arts – Divine dreams.
Now, on to reality. The financial settlement suites filed by my attorney gave me great hope for the money to fulfill these dreams but as the mediation went on, each call from my lawyers the numbers kept falling and my dreams downgraded. I enjoyed each stage of my dreams, allowing myself to be fully immersed and yet not attached. I thought I was unattached. With each phone call and monetary decrease the potential of my dreams changed from a retreat center in the beginning to now looking like a used RV. Actually it was fun dreaming that one too.
With yet another call from my attorneys, overwhelmed and in despair, I ran outside and shouted to the sky “I am so sick and tired of feeling sorry for myself, telling my sorrowful story and living in fear. No more!” “I am doing my best. It’s in God’s hands.”
The Universe tenderly responded. “Its OK, we are going to give you a house”. I was floored and began immediately wondering who in the world would give someone, me specifically, a house? Once again the Universe said “No, no, the Universe is giving you the house, but it will come through someone”
How the Universe gave me a house and a new life…to be continued next month
