On the eve of the New Moon over the Christmas Holy Days of 2011 I asked the Universe that my entire inner being be aligned in Harmony, Love and Light and that this “me being”, be in alignment with all the Divine, all of the great IS.
A few days later I developed a massive headache that went on for well over three days. As I was driving home on the third day of headache-hell I considered I could work on whatever issues may be arising causing me such pain. I began watching my thoughts as I moved through the process. As I sat drinking my morning coffee I found I was afraid. So many fears… afraid my father had abandoned me. This was the central theme. He had helped me financially recently and then went on a tirade (at least in my mind/head) about how I didn’t deserve help because I smoke cigarettes and eat meat… the fear was multifaceted.
I thought angry thoughts about my father who had always had the ability to “make” me feel I was bad, no good and unlovable. Then I got to thinking if someone, anyone, could really “make” me feel or think anything I didn’t want to think or feel. So stretching a bit on this thought I chose to decide that dear ole Dad was NOT “making” me think or feel anything. If I was thinking or feeling something, I could take responsibility for my own thinking and feelings.
The core feeling and thoughts I was having in my headache misery were that the Universe was abandoning me, I wasn’t loved or lovable and I was all alone. These were old, deeply rooted patterns of self-defeating thoughts. Intellectually I know quite well that this is not true but distorted thinking was rampart.
So I sat drinking my coffee, relaxed a bit and let the Universe love me, shower me with love, sooth me with love, comfort me with love, support me with love, holding me safely in Its arms and providing for all my needs. All I had to do was allow this and I did. Within moments the headache vaporized.
I began to look around and see so many realities of just how much the Universe was loving me and supporting me and gratitude overcame me with sweet relief and I loved greatly in return.
As the morning went on and a disparaging thought came up for my father I realized he was my gift. The answer to my New Moon wish and these were my hidden thoughts brought to light and healed with love and I was overcome with love and gratitude for my earthly father.
This reminded me of a beautiful prayer “Thank you for the blessings before me which I cannot see”
