Who’s Making Your Decisions?
Have you ever been amazed at your over-reaction to something an event or someone’s behavior? The emotions experienced may be anger, anxiety, numbness or fear for no apparent reason. What is the process that goes on internally, seemingly unconsciously that causes an inappropriate or over-reaction?
When we have traumas or repetitive negative experiences it is not unusual to get “stuck”. As long as we are “stuck” we will continue to have experiences that push those buttons, we become magnets for pain. The real purpose of this pain is to guide us to healing.
Mike (not his real name) came to see me to work on his difficulty in having a meaningful relationship. Mike was always backing off as soon as a deeper bond began to form. We explored Mike’s childhood for root causes. One experience Mike remembered to be quite painful was with his earliest sweet heart, we’ll call her Suzie. At the age of fifteen Mike was having his first emotional and physically intimate relationship. On a particular date Suzie, in tears confesses that Mike was not her “first”. Mike was devastated. There were a lot of aspects to this, we focused on the sense of betrayal Mike felt and decisions he made at fifteen about life and relationships that were still ruling his life at age fifty. His decisions were that no one could be trusted in a relationship and if he gave his heart he would be deeply wounded. The memory of this teenage experience was still painful when clearly recalled. Using EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) we released the pain and in came compassion, understanding and freedom from a life decision made at an early age.
At the age of five I was molested. I assure you, even at that age or any age for that matter, we are capable of making lifelong decisions. Until I began the process (it is a process) of healing, a five year olds decisions about myself and life where ruling me. What was most interesting to me was, I didn’t remember the event until I was in my mid-thirties. It is rather common for someone not to remember a traumatic experience from an early age until later in life. It is nature’s way of protecting us until we are better able to process such an event. Even without remembering the experience I was still bound and ruled by my five year olds experience and decisions about myself and life. It was evident in my actions and reactions.
So who is running your life and making your decisions? When clients come who have had traumatic experiences at any age and made decisions about life, I often ask if they would consult children to make their decisions for them today?
Shafiya Eve is a Reiki Master/Teacher, Healing Touch and EFT Practitioner with offices in Kilmarnock and Warsaw and also offers Home Visits and EFT By Phone and Distance Healing. You may contact Shafiya at Healing Energetics (804) 580-0702 or visit her website http://www.reiki-eft.net
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