Freedom

April 17, 2009 at 12:54 am (awakening, clearing, consciousness, eft, energy meridians, energy psychology, God, healing, holistic, inspirational, mindfulness, personal growth, prayer, self-inquiry, spiritual growth, tapping, transformation)
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(I wrote this about a year ago and was enjoying reflecting on it and decided to share. Hope you enjoy!)

Recently I became conscious of one of my unconscious rituals that had been going on for several months. Upon waking in the morning, my first awareness was of pain. The next thought was of the cause of the pain and those involved. I would lie in bed, getting furious and by time those hurting feet hit the ground, I was in a quiet rage. Several weeks ago, with coffee in hand, enjoying the morning sunrise, with a bit of the rage still leaking out, I decided I wasn’t going to start my day that way anymore. This poem is what tumbled out in response to that decision.

FREEDOM

Let me out of this prison of self torture

Please stop me from spending all I have, on blaming you and others

Those piercing arrows of pain, I hold tightly

Keeping us both in this prison of torture

There’s not much difference between the jailor and the jailed

In this prison where I hold us both hostage

How can I forgive with this tortured body and mind left behind?

My angst pushes me to the abyss of forgiveness –Freedom

I deserve it

You though are another matter

But I can no longer hold you captive

If I do, there in bondage I remain too

“God help me!”

Casting the gates wide, with trepidation fleeing I release you,

so that I may at last know freedom

A few days after the decision and the poem, I became aware that I now rarely wake up with that pain and certainly not the rage. Very interesting.

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Laughing with God

January 26, 2009 at 2:25 am (divine, inspirational, spiritual growth, spirituality)
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Believing there is any  security in the physical realm is like believing ice cream will stay solid on a warm sunny day. But there is real security and it’s a journey.

Many people are enduring financial loss and devastation at this time, which as hard as it may be to believe, may be the greatest blessing of their life.

The stress this entails is horrific. It affects so many aspects we have determined to be self. I went through this a year and a half ago, so my compassion is great and deep for this flaming collapse and correction of potentially fatal and false beliefs.

It has the same impact as if someone has discovered on a beautiful spring day they have cancer and life suddenly takes a sharp turn into totally unknown territory.

My resurrection from the ashes of my life hinged on a prayer a friend had offered me “Thank you for the blessings before me which I cannot see” along with other prayers.

As I look back over the past 18 months I now feel gratitude and deepened faith in the Divine processes. There were moments that I thought I simply could not live and breathe another breath unless something I had been counting on would come through.

Here is a poem that came to me during this time.

Laughing with God

As I sat thinking about this thing I desired so

This thing I NEEDED so

Contemplating a friend’s encouraging pray

“God’s Will be done”

Explaining “God sees the big picture and knows what’s best for me”

Pondering this along with my desire, now becoming a supplication

God, if you know what’s best for me,

you’ll give this object of my desire

Hearing this thought, a great laughter erupts and

cascades out, over and over again

Was that you laughing through me God?

Or me laughing at my self?

 

I didn’t get what I was praying for. I didn’t die and am deeply grateful, for what I did get, which far outweighs and exceeded my greatest expectation.

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